Oral Communication 8 blogg Jesse Tuorila

First week

Hey readers I am excited about writeing just how I feel and this is also my first time to write blogg tex or anything similar. So I took course 8 because i tought that it could be usefull to be able to practice also speaking. It will be nice to speak english on abroad and be able to understand what they have to say also. After first lesson I feel like i do not belong on this course but there is just this oral exam so I think I can pass this course like the others.

Second week

So now it is time for the second text now I think this course might be just my thing. I know I am not the best when talking about english oral skills but I still have learned a few very important things when I am speaking to someone in english like active listening. Sometimes i get bored on the class cause we go through things that are just so stupid and I have heard of them like million times before. So this was my second blogg and I don´t enjoy writeing this :D


Third week

Yes, this is the third week and I have noticed that it is very difficult to speak with someone who does not care at all because if you try to start a conversation by asking a question he or she just answers it and then comes the awkward silence. And if you try to tell something to him/her all you get is just mmmm or yes. But usyally if you speak to someone they ask questions and if you ask they say more than just yes or no. So different people different conversations.

Fourth week

Okay the oral exam is comeing and I don´t know what to do just take it easy cause I have practiced for this like three weeks on the lessons or try to do some last minute training. Maybe I take it easy I know i can speak and listen english also the matriculation exam is comeing. My head is kind of empty I am afraid that i can´t handle this. But in the other hand I have been stydying english from the third class all the way to this point. So thats all folks :D

Fifth week

Yeea it is over now i can relax the oral exam really was not my thing. It feels so weird to speak about that kind of topics. Also the thing that we had only four people in the big class and I was a bit nervous. But I still did the best I could in that situation and it was a nice experience. I think this course gave me a lot of good information and I learned so many things. This blogg or what ever we call it was not a good idea in my opinion. Over and out!

Jesse Tuorila

Oral course

I have always considered myself to be very good at English, but once this course began, I immediately noticed that my oral skills were pretty terrible. Before this course I hadn't spoken English almost at all except answering to the teacher's questions on previous courses. Before this course I was suspicious about it and I thought that this course might be ''useless'', but I changed my mind after the first lesson.
   During the first week we practiced basic things (greeting someone etc.) and I noticed that speaking English was difficult for me. After a few lessons my oral skills got seemingly better and speaking English became easier and easier. So far I have liked the course very much.

Week 2
 
   This week we had a listening comprehension and it went really well in my opinion. It helped me to lower some pressure off before the matriculation examination.  I can't remember the exercises we had on week 2 except the story making exercise, which I found exiting and fun.
   Speaking English is becoming easier and I'm getting more confident. I'm very glad to be on this course, because it has helped me a lot.

Week 3

   This week we had a substitute teacher. We did some pronouncing exercises and we also had the phrasal verb test which went quite well in my opinion. We also did a very interesting group exercise. In that exercise our group had crashed in a desert and we had to come up with a plan to survive. I thought that this exercise was really fun and helped me improve my negotiating skills. We also did an exercise in which you had to describe a picture to your partner and he/she had to draw it. I thought that it was a fun exercise.

Week 4
  
   This week we had the big debate. In my opinion the topics we had were kind of difficult for me to talk about. Also the groups were too big in my opinion. That's everything I remember from week four.
   As the course continues, my pronounciation gets better all the time and it's easier to talk English.

Week 5
  
   I can't remember much from the last week. I only remember that we played a game called Mafioso which was quite fun.
   On Friday I had my oral exam. I wasn't that nervous before the exam, even though one of the exercises we would have seemed a bit difficult. But during the actual exam I was quite nervous and I felt that my pronounciation was awful. The teachers said that it went well but I don't know.
   After the exam my course was over. I think that this course was one of the best courses I've had. This course was very different from all the other courses and it was rather easy to complete. And I also had a lot of fun during the lessons. This course was also very useful, my English improved a lot.
 
 

The time will just fly by

I  know I'm late. This is the English course number 8 - which includes a lot of talking, because this is an oral course. It began about 5 weeks ago, and here I am starting to write the diary. Few years ago I wrote to my own diary every day. I mean every single day, and sometimes I even printed pictures of my life and attached them to my diary. I haven't written diary in two years and I regret that.

I'll publish these diary texts at the same time, even though I have written them separately.

So, about this course... On the first lesson I was a bit excited and I didn't know what to expect. But after the most of the lessons I think this course has improved my English skills. I mean like I have used English more often and also learnt new words and for example how to be polite. On the other hand, I have also noticed how much more I still have to learn...... I think I should have invested more of my efforts to English especially on the first senior high year. Regards from an afterwise person who has her English final exam in 4 weeks.

Thoughts about the course and oral exam

Now that course is behind. I think that course might be good for me because as I have said I'm really shy speaking in English. But I know that the only way to learn to speak better English is training it. Lessons were nice and they went fast. And I hope that I learned something during the course.

The final thing to do was a oral exam. I was a little scared of it. But despite my fears it wasn't so bad. I knew what kind of the exercises would be in the exam and I also knew that I had to do it before that course would be over. And so I decided to do my best. I knew that they could demand more from me.When I remembered that I could go to exam without panic and extra stress. My oral exam maybe wasn't the best performance and I don't know if it didn't good enough because I froze a few time and I could get any word out of my mouth. In addition some topic was too difficult to me because I didn't know word enough. But in any case it have done now and it wasn't be so horrible than I feared. Maybe it will goes in better way in the next time.

Finally I say that I'm still pleased that I performed this course despite I'm very bad to speak English. Someone else hasn't maybe even tried.

The last week

The fifth week was at same time the last week. In my opinion  it feels a little strange. It feels more like that this course would have started a two week ago, not a five week ago.

Any way, in that week we mostly  did a book's practice but we also prepared to oral exam. We were allowed to see example exercises and practice them. I think that was good. So any exercise didn't come a surprise in the real exam.

One last time

The course is over, yay! So the oral exam is also over and I'm quite happy about that. Through all course I wasn't nervous at for the oral test but when I walked in to the class room seconds before the test started I was so nervous! I think I could've done better but the situation was so nerve-wracking that after all I'm quite pleased with my performance. Whatever, it's over now and it wasn't the most important test so I don't stress about it.

Even though the situation was so nerve-wracking I think that we should have more of those kinds of tests because then we got used to speaking English and it would come more natural for us. Though I did a whole lot of cursing during this course I'm still quite happy that I finished this. I think this will be useful for me someday.

the oral exame...

At this week we talked a lot about the oral exam. And after all I think that helped me to prepare and I knew what to wait for the oral exam. We also played "Mafioso" with cards and that was fun because we did something different, even if I hadn't played that before.

We practiced for the oral exam with the old exams, and there were a whole goup of old exams. There were 3 parts in the test: first you had to read a  text to your partner and then ask questions which kind of were related to the text. After that your partner did the same thing. In the second part you had to condense a text and retell it to your partner and ask couple of questions again. The third part was just a concersation, in my case it was about music.

I thinks that the exam went quite well, for example I answered the questions well. We also had a little disagreement with my partner, which I think was good because then there were more conversation and it was also more versatile. It was also fun to talk about music in the last part of the test, because the topic was easy for both of us.
All in all I think me and my partner did good in the exam.

Julia

debating..

Last week we practiced a lot how to debate. In the beginning of the week we just thought about the topics of the debate. The topics were for example immigration, the best country etc... I think that helepd me to concentrate on debating and I also learned how to express your own opinion.

On tje debating day, at the end of the week, we were shared like groups of eight and nine. First we debated only in those groups, and the topics were like "boys and girls should be teach separately" or something like that. In that point I noticed that it isn't so easy after all to debate or find enough good arguments.
After that started the "real" debating. The first topic was " the day without punishments", so you could do anything you want and you won't get punished. Our goup was against that and we had so good arguments that we won the debate. That helped me even more to express my own opinion and I found also good arguments. And I'm not really a fan of debating.

Julia

ORAL EXAM IS NOW HISTORY

Oral exam wasn't bad or terrifying at all. It was funny and I think that I and Julia did quite OK. We had an easy topic to talk about; music. In the text there were difficult words to pronounce but maybe I learnt something new. As an experience the exam was useful I think.

Now the lessons are over. I have to say that I miss them because they were so different and easy. Time has gone fast and matriculation examinations await me next week. Of course the English listening comprehension has gone already.

I liked this course and so I'm glad I have done this.

Tinde

The first week

I was kinda looking forward to this course because I´m much better speaking English than writing it and I thought that the course would be more fun than the normal ones where we only go throught the annoying grammar. And it would be nice to have this more relaxed course at the beginning of the school year when my brain´s are still on a vacation.
 But I didn´t have any high expectations for this course, I just assumed that we would be talking in a different
situations and that´s it.

Blog part 3 Bending the harness

So the course is coming to an end and actually the only thing left is the oral exam and i'm pretty confident that it will go as i planned and for that i mean massively great.

I still feel that this course has been great even though i have lost my English book couple of times and so on.

The text in our course book is just written in godly ways that even i can't fully comprehend, the secrets behind the sentences is key to a better lifestyle.

I heard a rumor that the main writer of the book was born in Virgin Islands and after that they were just Islands.

I think my English vocabulary has got better during the course and now i can more easily explain something in English. When you speak English a lot, it just becomes more casual and it's a lot more easier to use English in future situations for example meeting

some English speaking peoples and chat with them in English.

The course has also gave me the key for victory, i mean when play some games, pool for example and when it's my opponent's turn and i say some English word and pronounce it perfectly, the opponent will get so confused that his concentration flies away like the echoes of my words. Thanks for that!

Now I am running out of topics

I should have started earlier this diary thing. Why, that u can read in the headline.

I am stressed about matriculation examination, I have biology exam on Monday. But I can think about that biology stuff now in English and I'm having a break now. I have to add that I am surprised about what I got from English listening comprehension.

This course has increased my willness to speak English and I am glad that next weekend( so starting tomorrow) our youth council has guests from Croatia. Then I can speak more English and with them I can't like say to words in Finnish, I have go round somehow.

Tinde

talking talking...

We spent the whole week with Antti, and did all kind of things. We, for example, did many things with pronunciation. That helped me a lot because sometimes it's difficult to know how some words should be pronounced.

We also practiced how to negotiate: we had groups of four people and we were given a list where was all sorts of things, for example a ruptured parachute, bottles of water and firecrackers. We had been in a airplane and we had crashed to the middle of Sahara. Then we had to think which things are the most important and which are not so much. First independently, then in our groups of four. We had to also come up with a plan, how to survive in Sahara and which things were reasonable to use. That taught me all kind of things about negotiation. Now I now how to do that.

I thinks that Antti was a good teacher and it was cool that he talked with British accent. I also learned new things about the sentence and word stress, abd that they coul change the meaning.

Excited about the oral exam

I have the oral exam with Julia tomorrow. We have practiced and we are ready and I think the exam won't be a disaster.

Writing this diary has felt all the time nicer and that is good. After all one text doesn't take much time to write. We do speak English but I have noticed that when I write this I also try  to ( and not only try but do) think in English. I have started to wonder that if someone is bilingual , or multilingual, in which language does they dream? That was just a thought and that's not related to anything.

Speaking English a lot shouldn't be the thing during only one course. We should try in other courses that we speak only English during the lessons ( but the teacher can teach the grammar in Finnish). Then speaking would be more relaxed in this course from the very beginning and for example debates would run more fluently.

Tinde

The fourth week

The thing which stick in the mind were debates. I don't know if I like debating or not. If I have to debate in English in a big group, I can't say anything. I think I understood almost everything that the others said so that isn't the reason of my problem. The reason is probably that I fear that I say something a wrong way. I need to get more courage to speak English.

My second diary marking

I don't like the fact that I have been adjourning the writing all the time. After all this is not horrible, starting is just hard sometimes. And of course I had problems even in finding the blog=D

I liked the exercises we did with Antti because they were different, took time and I just liked them. Also the man speaking very fast was funny but I am sure I can never speak English that fast. But it is said that you never should say never.

I have learnt about sentence stress and that stressing might chance the meaning of the sentence actually very often. Those exercises have also been nice. Talking and talking and talking again during the lessons has relaxed the atmosphere in my table which is great.

Because this is my 2nd text, I will write now every evening. I could not have anything better to do.

I have to say that it is a pity I have been forced to leave earlier very often on wednesdays.

Tinde

My thoughts at this moment

I was a little pissed off earlier but I'm even more pissed off now because this blogger thing didn't send my text here and now it's all gone and I'll have to write it again... This is why I hate this blog things so much that words can even describe!


So to my text. Yeah, it's almost the end of this course. I can't say I'm sad for it but I'm a bit afraid of the oral exam. I don't know what to expect because I have never been in those kind of exams but I think I'm going to screw it up like I always do...


My mind is somewhere in another galaxy as I'm writing this text. This day has been tough mentally. We had those hearing comprehensions and I totally screwed it up big time. It was so hard and I didn't understand even half of it! I think I blew my chances of getting a good grade in English's matriculation exam.


I'm so stressed out right now that I don't know what to think. I have so much stuff to do that I get totally paralyzed and then I don't get anything done. I know, it makes no sense right?


I feel like I need to be more prepared for matriculation exams. I haven't read English at all. I don't know how to so I just don't read...heh... That's also stressing me out because I don't know what to do about it.


I remember when I thought that this "abi" year would be easier because we don't have so much school but the truth is rough. How silly for me to even think so ever...

Blogi : D

As weeks go by i feel more and more confident about speaking English and pronouncing the words right.

The course has still been pretty helpful, i mean repetition is the mother of all learning.

I have actually improved physically during the course, because of the intensity in pronouncing those bizarre and long words.

If everything goes by the plan i should be genius at the end of the course. 

I think we should do more debating exercises because they teach pretty well and after all, debating is pretty important skill.

Hopefully there is jokes hidden in our books, i have heard that if you find a joke in your book your body increases the blood flow in brain and more specifically in hippocampus and that of course enhances your long-term memory radically. In my opinion the stuff taught in course is almost as good as it can get, it's not boring but not useless either.

Course journal

It was surprising to come to this course and realise we would be
going to talk so much. Of course it's kind of logical since this is
after all a talking course. I have used a lot of my free time to do
something related to English, such as playing games, and it has
helped to grow my vocabulary but spoken English hasn't had so
big a role in my life.

I think it's boring that I won't have anymore English lessons after
this period. Time has gone so quickly, but at the same time it
seems like an eternity when I started at first class in upper
secondary school. Now I'll just have to wait till university to be
able to learn more English. It will probably be a lot more
challenging but then again, it will be interesting as well.

The second week

I can't remember what I learned the second week because I forgot to write about it. And now I remember doing that I hardly remember anything. The only thing I remember is a lesson of that Friday. At that lesson we created our own stories in the small group and then we had to tell those stories to other groups. It was hard to remember the others stories and so they changed.

I think that was nice lesson and it was fun to create a story. It isn't only good for your English skills but also your imagination. 

Week 2

These texts are now backwards but anyway I don't remember much what we did in week 2 because I was so stupid and didn't write this thing on time when I still remembered something...

But the task I can remember is the story task. I thought it was the best task in the course so far because you got to use your creativity there and it was also good practice for the listening comprehension.

Week 3

I've fallen behind with these learning diary texts... I think I should have written three of these things by now but this is my second one...

Okay, what have I learned so far? I'm not so sure that I've learned anything new but it's been easier to speak English at least. So I guess that's something.

I enjoyed the drawing task we did with Antti last week because I noticed that explaining those pictures in English was almost as hard as it would have been in Finnish so it was nice to notice. Also thhe task where we had to make a survival plan in a dessert was really funny.

Yeah I guess that's about it what we did last week.

I am late

Where should I start? First I'll mention that this course has been my easiest course during my high school time so far. This kind of courses are important because they give variation and cause less stress than other courses.

Speaking English is funny and relaxing with friends and I liked the exercise where we were well known persons and we had to argue why should others die and I stay alive. That was interesting. But I did not win.

If I'm tired during the lessons I'm not interested in speaking English because I find it too hard to think in English. Then I think about biology homework.

Saying or pronouncing something wrong does not overturn the world. That's ok and a good way of learning I think.

Tinde

English oral communication course 8 for me

So here I am writing this learning diary.. Well let's start by saying that the course started today. I had a little bit bad expectations of the course because it's completely an oral course + the oral exam that everybody had been talking about.. what was ahead? And we're also going to have the A-levels.. too much work I thought but since I like English I thought maybe it won't be so bad. And it wasn't. Already at the first hour it was so fun with my friends and the teacher, the atmosphere was very relaxed and everybody had a nice time I think. Actually it seemed so easy today at the first hour that it didn't even feel like a lesson. And it was nice to talk only English again after talking it almost every day the whole summer but then suddenly stopping.

Talking with different people

In this week we talked almost with every person in the class. We had this thing that first you talked with one person a short time and then you moved to a next person and talked with him/her for a while etc. I think that was nice beacause you talked with so many person and heard their opinions about things. We talked for example matriculation exam, summer and our plans for that evening.

Our class on Friday we wrote a story in groups. There was certain words which we had to use in our story, for example a car. Then we told our story to other groups and after all groups had told their stories we had to retell others stories, like we remembered them. That was a nice class and it helped to remember different kind of stories. At some point it was a bit difficult to use all words in the story.

We also talked about what we think about traffic. It was useful because you learned all kind of words which are related to traffic.

Julia

All kind of talking...

I think the course is nice, because you learn to talk in different kinds of situations. We have talked all kind of things in class, for example what do we remember our first day at school and what work we would like to do after high school. I think that kind of talking helps you for example to decide what school or university you wanna go after high school or do you wanna go any school at all. We have also had job interviews in pairs, and I think that's great if you think about your future.

We haven't always talked with our friends in class, which is great because you luearn to talk with different people and you can also hear what they think about things.
We also read a text in English and then we had to retell the text to our friend in our own words. I think that helped to prepare to our exame later. Now you also now what to wait in the exam.

Julia

Englanti 8

As i first stepped into the classroom i felt massively tired, but it was the first week at school so it is understandable. For now everything has gone as well as it could have, not so tired anymore and i haven't been kicked from the course.

I actually like this course, not only because it is practical but it is also pretty relaxed.

I think that speaking English and pronouncing it right is without doubt the most important practice when it comes to the real deal. I mean when you are overseas and try to ask directions, it is not so important that you say your saving sentence in perfectly correct format but that you are able to make it sound at least  a little bit like it should sound like.

I have hopefully learned a little bit better pronounciation, not that i suck at it but because if you're not native speaker there's a lot of work to do at improving it.

In the future i hope the course is just like it has been for now, simple and effective. The only thing that i don't like is writing this blog but i think it goes with the flow.

This is me

1# One part of my life?

This blog made me think about English as a part of my life. And now I realized that actually it's quite big part of it. I have to or I have got an amazing possibility (just as you want to form it) to speak English in my life, every day. So, I can say that I really need English.

Something that worries me sometimes is that I notice all the time mistakes that I make when I'm speaking. But anyway, everybody does that. Even natives - maybe the most (I understood that last year in Texas when some of my English friends said something that was taught to us on the third grade).

But maybe it's not the grammar that I need the most. And difficult words can always be said in another way. So why do I and all others have to worry so much about speaking? I think that there won't be a nuclear bomb hidden somewhere even if I said something wrong. Next step for me is to relax more and just speak; if not without mistakes then with one hundred.

with love
Solja 



2# Should I start to panic

Ok here we go. Wednesday the 28th of August. It sounds better than for example the 27th because I like the even numbers. But one good thing about that date 27 is that yesterday, I could have said that it's still two weeks to the listening comprehension of matriculation examination. And now? Yeah, it's only one week and six days.

I was really pleased when we did the listening comprehension on this course. That was maybe the best of my life! I mean the two years and a few weeks that i have been in this school. But anyway, those comprehensions are really hard. You can't know what to answer because the questions are always so trikky. And I'm not used to that kind of situations: in real life, if I miss a part when someone is speaking, i know how to say: 'Sorry, I didn't quite get it, could you repeat'. And, I even know some variations of that kind of sentence. I think I'll handle it. But in the listening comprehension, what can I do! Basically, nothing. If I don't hear, that's it, you're out. Oh, nice.

I've been watching House for practice a little. Actually, it's quite good way to monopolize the living room: 'I need to watch the TV now, I'm practicing'. But actually, House is just so great a series that I actually like that kind of practise.

I've got a late morning today. So, should I study a little. Sounds like a plan! Here I come House.

with love
Solja



3# Communicate!

People are social creatures. In their culture, they have learnt to work together, and for that, they need to speak. The first words of those loved-by-everyone babies start to sprout up when they are approximately one year.

So, from the time that you were one, you have been saying something. Thanks to these many years, speaking with others should be easy, right? But anyway, communication with people who you don't know (yet) is many times a bit difficult. What should I start with? What if I freeze? What does the other one is thinking? What are his/her values?

On this course we have been speaking a lot about how to manage in a conversation. It might be really awkward and embarrassing for both if the discussion dies. It's of course easier if the other one is active and keeps up the conversation. But sometimes you may run into people with whom you have to be the active one.

To avoid the silence, the best way is asking. When you ask, the other (obviously) has to answer. So the conversation is going. With adding something you show that you are really listening to the other and that you are interested about him/her. Also active listening in general is really important. You can for example add some little words 'Oh really!', 'That's really unusual!' etc.. And don't forget the body language and the tone! In formal situations people have to know some basic ways how to act and behave.

Have a good time, speaking!

with love
Solja



4# Beating the other

One of the most challenging exercises on this course for me was the debate. On the first one, the topic was about if it's good to have one day in a year when you can do anything without being punished. My team was against that claim. In the other one we had to fight for the claim that it's good that everybody lives in a same country.

First of all, I don't like debates. It's because every time some of the group don't want to say anything. And what kind of team is that? But I think it's impossible to make going debates at school - there are never anough motivated persons to say their opinion.

On the other hand, it's not just the students don't want to fight against each other. It's also quite hard. The topics are, most of the time, almost too difficult to understand so you don't anything to say because you don't know anything about the topic. Or then, if you know, thing are too personal to be said out loud.

However, debating is a good skill to learn. You will need to justify and make ground for some important subjects in your life. So learning how to do it in a polite way, and at the same time get the other one to understand you point of view, is important.

I would like debating if it worked, maybe some day.

with love
Solja



5# Oral exam

Actually, no panic. For me it's a bit weird because I'm used to be nervous in every exams or in general in situations where I have to try my best. Maybe now I didn't have time to think about it before - too much to do, no time for your brain.

My pair was Netta and together I think we did quite well. First I had to speak about a German holiday city, after make a summary of Internet using. Speaking was a bit hard in the beginning. That's because I was definitely trying too hard so every word you say starts to struggle. But after a while everything went better - it's always harder in the beginning. The summary was challenging as a task. You have to decide what to say, what the important points of the text are and you should leave out.

As our conversation we spoke about child soldiers, and that as a topic was really hard for me. Basically i didn't have any kind of clue of them, just what the name was bringing to my mind. Luckily Netta knew a little bit more about those beings.

Anyway, I found the oral exam a bit challenging, it wasn't bad att all. We were there and that's about it. I didn't get any trauma and I still feel I'm living. Now that I got the result, I am even more pleased with the exam. I really can speak!

with love
Solja


6# The end


It feels odd to say 'This was my last course of English in this school' but anyway, true it is. Now I should have the basic skills of English and this course was made to train my skills as a speaker.

It's hard to say how much one has learnt on this course because at least for me, I speak English every day. So thinking what new these five or six weeks gave me more, I don't know. At least I got a course. And I learnt that 'Cheers!' can be used in many situations.

Nevertheless, I don't feel like the course was for nothing. But I think that either it was me who wasn't doing enough or then the course was really easy. We didn't get any homework or anything, so the point was just if you work yourself. Anyway you always leanr something, even though you don't even know it. When you sit in the class hearing English it activates your brain for that important language. The more you hear and use it, the more you learn. But maybe it's hard to see an effort in such a short period.Although in the beginning I really didn't like the idea of the blog, I must say that now sitting and just writing feels really good. It's maybe easier to see the progress in writing than in speaking, and so, I could now point out that this blog has helped me to write.

Thank you for the course Mika:)

with love
Solja

Wondering what should I write here...

Actually, first I didn't wanted to take this course at all. I thought it would have been waste of my time. Well, I took it anyway at the last night before the course started and here I am!

I guess that this has been best english course this far, and the one that's going to show up most useful. I love english, much more than I love finnish, a bit weird really...and I enjoy very much about speaking it. I use to say that english is my another language, not swedish.

So, this course has been wonderful so far, and I don't expect any change in it. I like speaking, and that's what we have done. Speaking english has never been any problem to me, and it comes like something everyday stuff and part of my normal life. I've learned things like active listening and I have enjoyed talking exersises we've done.

I'm especially glad that I took the course and I'm waiting for the exam already...another strange thing in this course!

What do I think about this course so far

The beginning of this course has been pretty different from the other courses. I like that we don't use that much books and we really discuss about things in English. It's good practise to speak English and I don't find it very hard because speaking isn't that big of a problem for me usually.

That speed dating exercise wasn't that nice but maybe it's good to learn to speak with different people than your friends at the same table. But it's easier to speak to your friends than others. In real life I'm not ashamed to speak English it's not so important that it is perfectly correct. 

My invitation was stolen by Kiia so I couldn't do it so that's why this is Kiia's profile but it's actually me Sofia :D And I'm also sorry about my loudness maybe we should try to keep it down...

Thoughts about the course

So, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to write here but I'll give it a try. I have been absent for a few hours so I haven't had a proper imagine about the course. But the exercises we've done so far have been okay and I like the part that we don't need to write that much and we really get to talk a lot. I think it's good to practice speaking because in real life you will come to many situations where you need to communicate with people who don't speak your language.

I consider that I'm quite good in English but I definitely need more practice with speaking English because it's something I don't need to do that often so sometimes I'll get really rusty. It takes some time for me to set the right mood for speaking in a different language but speaking in generally is not a problem for me so I'm sure I'll do just fine in this course.

I've been really stressed out lately so forgive me my behavior. I will do my best and try to be more positive about the course :)

My thoughts...

So after one week of "working" here are some of my thoughts. So far I have really liked the course and I've realized how useful it is. I think it is fun that you don't need to spend every minute with a pen in your hand, but instead you can just talk with your friends, and call that studying. 

I have always like English not just as a school subject, but also as a language that is used practically everywhere. I consider myself to be good at English, but of course there’s always something where you can improve. Talking English is something that I’ve never really had the change to do, so I guess that it’s obvious that that’s the area where I’d like to better myself. Talking off the dome, just sometimes feels weird since it’s not something that I’m used to do. 

The exercises we’ve done so far have been good, but like Mika said it’s easy to hit a wall when you’re talking. That’s why it would be a good idea to have a subject to talk about or something like that. But no matter what kind of exercises we do I’m sure I’m going to get better and more confident at talking English. 

Henrikki

Only some little thoughts...

The first week. I don't really know, it was fun but at the same time a little bit odd. Mostly I like speaking English but in the beginning it was maybe too uncomfortable. I don't like to speak in English if my English isn't "perfect". Or even good. This made it hard some times to speak to anybody in English. Still I think the course is very useful and like the idea behind it. And maybe time makes it a little less uncomfortable to speak when I'm not even close to being perfect. So the first week was a bit horrible but at the same time really fun when I finally had the confidence to speak to someone else than myself in English.

So there you go. Hopefully this is getting easier with the time because if it isn't I'm gonna be in a really big trouble. So now I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope. Really hard.

What I think about the first week

The first week of this course is behind and I'm pleasantly surprised. It wasn't be so difficult that I thought before this course start.
I have always been difficult to say anything in English. I'm afraid that I say something wrong. But I knew that I had to try and speaking English with other in this course. And yeah, it was difficult to me and I don't know if I say something wrong. But in any case, I still tried to speak English and I'm proud of that.

First impression of the course

I have pretty much nothing to say about the first week of the course. The things we've gone through so far have been pretty basic, sometimes it's been hard to take the exercises seriously. But at least I've had fun! 

Talking in English is part of my everyday life, so I think this course won't give me quite as much as it might give to someone who rarely talks in English. But I'm here to learn more precise and "formal" English for the future :)

I wonder if this is a good title

My initial thought after one week of this course was that it’s a lot more difficult to speak English than it is to write it. I consider myself to be above average in English, and when I’m writing English I know how to use different words and phrases. Then came the talking exercises, and I felt like being in elementary school all over again. I really had to think what I would be going to say and even then the outcome had some room for improvement. When I’m not prepared to talk English, I can’t come up with words the same way when I’m prepared for it or writing it. In other words, talking English off the top of my head feels difficult, and that’s the main thing that I’d like to work on and get better at.

All the talking exercises that we’ve done have been good, but I think it would be more beneficial if we got some topics to talk about. I think it would be a little easier to talk about a certain topic than, for example, about what you did at the weekend (although that could be a good topic, too).

yeah

The first week of the oral course is behind and here are some of my thoughts about it so far.

I consider myself to be very good at English when it comes to writing, but as is expected I'm not as good at actually speaking it. I have been in situations where I have had to talk English a lot, like the Italy exchange thingie last year and other times I've been abroad. Now I haven't used it in a long time and my speaking isn't nearly as fluent as it should be. While speaking my vocabulary is strangely small and I have noticed that I've made mistakes even with simple grammar, and my pronunciation is most of the time quite awkward, especially when I'm not paying attention to it. But I guess that's why this course exists and it is good that I'm attending it to get some exercise.

I haven't really enjoyed the exercises where we've needed to discuss stuff in groups, it feels kind of artificial to me and I can't talk naturally. It also is silly to talk to my friends about what I did during my summer holidays when they already well know what I did.

Course 8

The first week is behind and the second one is ahead. The lessons in the previous week were new for me because there you have to speak English almost all the time. I have not spoken English so much that I could compose my thoughts to talk fast enough and clear enough. Writing is not a big trouble for me because you can think and fix your spelling during the writing progress. Nevertheless, when you speak, talk needs to come straight out. I think that this course will definitely be a big help for me. During the course, I hope that my pronouncing will improve a lot and after the course, I would like to be more confident to speak English in any situation.

Blogi teksi 1 Noora

First week in English 8 was nice. It was nice to start from bottom and learn basic stuff about speaking to another person and ofcourse learn some stuff about pronansiation.
    What I really liked was the video about differenses in American and Brittish English and job interview. Why I liked those things? Because it was something different and new.
    During the next weeks in English 8 I hope that we could watch more videos of differenses in American and Brittish English and more nice stuff... :)

Some thoughts about this

First, I need to say that I have been and I'm a little bit shy to speak English in big groups. I always think pretty much what I'm going to say and is that propably incorrect to say it like that. I have been in situations where I need English and I think this course is a good way to get more courage to speaking. I have already got some courage to communication with other people and I hope that I would be able to speak English more smoothly.
 So it's maybe time to continue this writing. I couldn't find the way to comment my own text so I will just continue the story. I have been positively surprised about this course. I think it's nice to talk to people around and learn to know them in English. I think it's still a little awkward to me to speak English with people I don't know very well but that skill is increasing all the time. I have already got confidence to speaking and it's way more easier than it was on the first class. Speaking English is an ability which is really important in the world today. I feel I can survive in a foreign country with only English.

Here I am. Who would have thought?

 #1
My first entry to this blog... What else could I say? Here I am, still breathing (the air is good for me!) and it's been about one week since the summer holiday ended (more or less). I think the summer is starting to turn to autumn already... it's getting colder, the air has that certain good smelling "scent" in it, nights are getting darker and the sun doesn't shine that much anymore. Autumn... what a lovely season.

But I guess I'm not here to talk about the weather. Or seasons. So, shall we get the show on the road?
Yeah, forward we go! Oh, I must mention that this is far from any kind of 'official' text... I just hate rigidity and inflexibility... So, nothing in these texts I've written will be bound to any boundaries. These texts just 'are', exist in their own way, the way how I wished them to. My little piece of freedom.
For what is the world worth of living if we're prisoners, of our own minds, of our own society, of our own rules?

The beginning is always the hardest. No matter what you do, no matter how you do – you will always be a newbie in the beginning, or as some people say, a noob. There is this certain threshold which you have to cross, and after that it'll get hell of a lot easier. Trust me.

It's not the failure that kills you or harms you. It's the doubt. It's the fear. Fear together with doubt is a mind-killer. You have to get over them, of fear, and of doubt. Believe in yourself, trust in  yourself. Because in the end? In the end you're all alone, fighting the world, fighting the society, fighting for your own existance. And all that exists? Hope.

A little warning before I start... Please, try to understand that I am who I am: an open person. I write very openly and honestly about how I think and feel, often off-topic too. You may feel a little bit awkward when reading these texts, especially if you don't know me. But hey, I like being open: whenever I get to choose it myself instead of anyone forcing me. But please, don't make a mistake thinking that I'm vulnerable, I'm not. Nor should you make a mistake thinking that it's my weakness. It's not. I just like giving pieces of myself, even if it only means these texts. You may think that some of these matters are rather personal, and I must apologize if you feel uneasiness or any form of awkwardness because of it. 
After all, I really do love writing, as much as I love trying to affect.

Because of these texts you may learn to know me way better than you have learned during these last years. But I still like being mysterious, keeping parts of myself hidden, secrets covered in these texts, symbolism used in certain cases. Why? Why not. As I said, I like being mysterious, as childish as it may be. But hey, it's said that men never grow up! So, I'll get to smile again.

NOTE: This all is happening between ME and English. As without other people there can't be a language, I must tell what affects me and my capability to communicate in English. Fair enough?   Hell, it's all about people anyway. The language, the culture, anything, the whole endless wonder, the world itself! 

--- ---
Now that I've handled the introductions... Lets move forward!

I'm not sure I like talking that much... Well, at least not when people are not ready to hear what I've got to say, or when I know that they wouldn't care less about what I think and if I talk or not. Being silent isn't that bad... you'll get used to it. Especially when people are not ready...
I wonder if they'll ever be. But I guess all one has to do is to figure it out... are people worth it? More importantly: who is worth it?


I prefer English over Finnish in many cases. Hell, I probably use English more than Finnish. I don't know what I'd do without English: I think a lot in English, I have some conversations with myself in English, I communicate with some people in English. Finnish doesn't just feel "good"... it's so stiff and inflexible when compared to English. And it's sharp... very very sharp. If you're not careful, it'll hurt you, it'll cut your throat open. Or perhaps, one should rather say in this case – it's not the language you should be afraid of. It's the certain individuals.


Having a good group has lowered my own threshold, to act, and to speak. I actually feel that I enjoy talking and that I want to talk. I get to be who I am: I get to share my opinions, and people in my group are listening to me whenever I talk. It's such a difference when compared to normal situations I've had. I often wonder if it'd be different if nobody knew me or if we had just met: people would think of me in a completely different way.
People see what they want to see, and believe what they want to believe. Humans can be so incredible stubborn and even stupid creatures... Geez! It's not like I'm that same person anymore, or even the same person that I was two months ago. Geez, indeed. Now I'm kind of laughing. I am a human. But yeah, I'm really looking forwards to this course. Can't wait to see what it brings...

I know my English is far from perfect: the obvious reason why I don't speak it fluently is that I haven't had a chance to speak it nor have I ever had a chance to spend time abroad. I'm not a native English speaker.
The truth is: You cannot learn to speak English fluently if you don't speak it, but also if you don't have a chance to stay with people whose primary language is English. It's weird... to become good at anything, requires other people... Ever given a thought about that? That being said, I'm not flawless. I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of errors – I'm aware of all that – but I want to learn from them and become better.

I often wonder how it'd be to live in someplace else... Nobody would know me, nobody would judge me by my past. I often dream of living in US, or volunteering and helping people in Africa... Oh well, time will show. But I am quite sure that I wont be staying in Finland for long. It's only a matter of time when I decide to flee to someplace else. I can almost see myself laying on the beach (someplace warm, perhaps Hawaii?), drinking cocktails, bathing in the sun, without being in any kind of hurry. Or then I imagine myself watching through the window (a big one with white frames... I just love that architecture in US!) and seeing the autumn in it's full glory, while enjoying a glass of red wine. Oh, too bad that I'm an absolutist: no alcohol, no smoking (not even pot), or drugs. Perhaps I should start imagining a cup of tea instead..... some delicious green tea (not made of marijuana!!!), or something else. Damn. I really do love tea. And autumn. Too bad that winter is coming, I'm not so fond of it. Winter is always so cold and dark... But winter is coming.


Geez. Time flies when I'm having fun. Gotta go. But I will be back. Cheers!


 

BECAUSE THE LIMIT OF THE CHARACTERS (only 4096 characters allowed), I WILL KEEP THESE TEXTS IN THIS ONE THREAD INSTEAD OF CREATING NEW ONES. Every new text will be in seperated sections, each one written in different color and marked clearly with a number. I love doing things on my own way....


#2

The second week is coming to it's end... And here I am (with sore throat... I guess it's that time of the year when one should start considering whether to sleep with windows wide open, or not. I like that good smelling scent in the air, especially at night and I get to feel the wind on my face if I sleep window open. Besides, I like listening to traffic sounds in the night... it reminds me of other 7 billion people). 
But yeah, here I am. Who would have thought? Oh well, why would I be surprised? I'm not. It's a little bit hard to accept that the summer is already over and that it's autumn already (although, I do love autumn... everything about it: the smell, the way how everything looks, thoughts about how fast time goes and that summer is finally over). I wonder what the hell happened. But then... Is it really necessary for me to remember, to keep track of time?

I'm trying to write this blog every now and then, once a week. But the thing is, I rather have to force myself so I wouldn't write more than is allowed (as the limit of these texts is just 10 and only God knows what's the limit of words in these texts). Hopefully I don't really have to cut off my fingers to keep myself from writing: I would rather not do that. Alright, alright! No extreme measures are necessary! I submit! I don't want to lose any of my fingers... I like doing stuff with them.

But now, shall we get to the actual point? What have I learned during this week? Or should I rather ask, what have I not learned? But because it'd be pointless to list things I haven't learned, yet, I'll just tell about all the things I've learned (regarding to these English courses, eighth and nineth ones...).

First of all: Don't keep your hands anywhere in front of your mouth area. Meaning, don't lean onto your hands either. Teacher wont like it. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, as long as you don't do it. But there's a real reason why you shouldn't do it: it makes you mumble, and your partner wont understand or hear anything you say, "mumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumblemumble". Besides... you could catch some bacteria from your hands... One must wonder where your hands have been... What do you think you're thinking about?! What I meant is that in public places (grocery stores, schools, libraries, cinemas, etc.) there's a lot of bacteria.

What I also have learned is that it's not easy to get your voice to carry out loud on good volume and at the same time get the spoken language to sound good. Perhaps this is because of my sore throat (catching a flu?). I guess I'll get better with time.

The more I listen to English the more I can understand the speech. I've noticed that more I just listen to English the better I can recognize everything in speech. So instead of watching movies and series with English subtitles, one should watch them without them if the movies are in English. Whenever I watch movies or series, I watch them with English subtitles. The reason for that is that I don't have a sound system of great quality so all talk drowns into the world of explosions and action. I couldn't imagine watching a movie or episodes of my favorite series with Finnish subtitles.

Finnish is just something so rigid and inflexible. Alright, perhaps it's just a highly colored opinion of mine. Alright, perhaps if I used Finnish more, then I probably wouldn't be so negative about it. But well, it seems that I rarely use it anymore. There's just no need for me to use it. Perhaps just whenever I'm talking with someone who's Finnish, and if I'm engaged in a "conversation combat" with someone, whomever that might be. Geez, it's not like I'm trying to render Finnish unusable or anything. Perhaps it's not the language that raises this much of... what? negativity? Hell, I'll blame the society for it, not the language. After all, I am a product of the society, like it or not – that's the way it is. Everything I am is because of the society. Sometimes I really do wonder who I am, or rather, what I am. It's not like I don't recognize myself. It's just that sometimes I get these flashes

(memories?) and realize how much things have changed. But what remains is the present and the future. I couldn't care less about what's happened, even thinking about the past makes me feel sick. Yeah, I really do despise almost everything in the past. "Ghosts of the past". Haha, that's hilarious!

Geez, I really do get to enjoy of my drama after all. I think... I've become rebellious.

Oh well, it's not like I'm going to start burning cars and throwing Molotovs all around...

... I really did get carried away from the point. Let's get back on the track. No, I'm not a train. But this is a train of my thoughts. And I wonder if there's the Rail Chaser involved...

So. Back on the track (still not a train). What I've also learned is that speaking English out loud makes me more confident. I don't know why, it just does. Perhaps it's because of the fact that I know that whomever I'm speaking English with is listening to me and is probably interested in what I've got to say. 

A dream I say: It's all about that particular excercise, people's desire to complete it. Alright, perhaps I should have more belief in people. Not all people are the same... yet why is it so hard for me to believe that difference could ever be accepted? Snap out of it already, Geez!... Not everyone stabs in the back, not everyone seeks to destroy you, not everyone tries to exploit you, or abuse you.

Alright, none of this text has to be taken seriously, at least I don't. I only tell exactly WHAT I'm feeling, WHY I'm feeling and my thoughts. Haha, sounds rather like a comedy!
I think that the group which I'm currently in is a good one. No doubts about that! 

Alright, if I got carried away from the point earlier, I did it again!

Let me have my last words (it's not like I'm going anywhere or pop off, just gotta end this text, one way or another).

So, here it ends. Farewell for now. I will be back, you can count on that. I got at least 4 texts to write more (note the 'at least' part!). See ya 'round!

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#3

Has it really been only three weeks since the holiday ended? I don't know if I should be happy about that or not. I often wonder... what would life be alike if something had gone differently. Who would I be? That's is the question I seem to ask myself a lot.

But then I always wake from my endless daydream. I am who I am, I am what I am. Everything I am is because of how things went. Is my history the same as my story? 
”His story – history”.

I'm afraid that I can't do much to change my history, but what about my story? Does it really have to be based on my history? No matter how hard I try to imagine things – events – differently, I just can't, not even after cutting all my ties to past. But who am I? Am I a product of the society? Chances of that are high: I most certainly am.

I've also wondered that if it was possible to change the past, 'delete' some experiences, would I do that? Yet I'm aware that everything that I am is because of the experiences and life-events that I've been through. I shouldn't feel bad because of being 'me', because of the things that have happened or because of the things that are just impossible because of the events that have happened in the past.

”The whole thing goes: The future's not set. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves. ” is most definitely one of the most beautiful quotes I've ever heard, spoken by John Connor in Terminator 2. Future's not to blame. Yet... am I to blame? I really do wonder. But I guess I accepted this 'destiny', 'fate', what-ever-you-want-to-call-it, when I made the certain choices regarding my life. I guess one quote is enough to describe my feelings regarding those choices.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them." by Jodi Picoult, in My Sister's Keeper.

I don't like being compared to other people, as I'm not like the others. Some may think of me as an arrogant person, but in reality that's what the society has taught me: I'm not like the others. Isn't it ironic? Back in time I wished I were different. But I don't complain. I am who I am, I am what I am. I am invincible: nobody can hurt me, not really. They can try, but in the end... what is it worth for them? I'm just me. Why would anyone even want to hurt me? But if they get satisfaction out of it... let it be that way then. Like Chaplin said, "My pain may be the reason for somebody's laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody's pain." I won't hold a grudge, I promise. Just if it makes you feel better, and perhaps I could see you smiling? I love seeing people smile.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I get more response to my feelings from fiction than I do get from other people. What else could I say? It's the truth. I wish I could say that I believe in relationships, but I don't. I'm just way too different. I guess that I don't even care anymore: in the end it'll always be me, fighting the world, all alone in the darkness, being my own pillar of support. I don't mind being alone, not at all, not anymore. I don't have to be afraid of being accepted, I don't have to be afraid of losing people, or of losing friends. When I'm old, I don't have to feel utter sadness when burying my life-long friends and when the stories of our experiences together keep living within me, I don't have to feel nostalgic nor will I be brought to tears by the loss. And when I am old and my time has come, I won't be afraid of death, just hoping that it'll be swift.

Besides, I get to enjoy of little things: good food and tea, fiction (both movies and literature), seasons, world of endless wonder. Really, it's not that bad, at least when compared to getting backstabbed one time after another, or being told who I shouldn't be – what I shouldn't be – or getting my heart crushed: suffering a slow agonizing death. So no, I don't believe in relationships, nor will I ever want to fall in love with anyone. Aboveboard, I would rather fall off the bridge. Alas, one wouldn't survive either one of them: it's not the falling that kills you, it's when you hit the bottom. But it's the way of falling what makes falling off the bridge more enjoyable. Falling in love... I wouldn't wish that even on my nemesis, I really wouldn't.

And... I hate responsibility, I always have, I probably always will. I like being free. Yet, total freedom can never exist. Power bring responsibility but rensponsibility doesn't bring power. We're all prisoners of our own minds and our own society.

I'm probably better as solo, most of the time. I've always been. I'll always be. Life is a game to me. The world is my game board (I'm like 'Light Yagami', 'L', or 'Zero').

And after all, I did make my decision. And soon... the whole world will bow to me...

Now I'm really laughing, as that was fun. Remember what I said in my earlier texts? These texts shouldn't be taken too seriously, nor should life either.

But enough of that depressing sounding stuff, alright? Yeah, let's change the subject!

So, I am here again, talking about what I've learned. Yeah, yeah, let's move on, shall we?

First of all, I've learned more about pronouncing and stressing the words and sentences.

My personal opinion about stressing is that it's highly related to emotions and feelings. You tend to stress words and sentences differently when you're mad than when you're happy. It's hard for me to tell the stressing of the certain syllables: I think I do the stressing part rather naturally. But more I think of it, it doesn't feel that hard. What is hard is that I don't recognize that well the stressing of words and sentences when it comes to certain... how shall I say it... output? There was this one text which we followed by listening to CD, how one person read the text and stressed it differently all the way to the end. It's just harder for me to stress that way how he stressed... Well, I never said that I'd be flawless, did I?

I've also had some hard time about using was/were in past tense sentences, but after reading about it I now know that both ”I was” and ”I were” are grammatically correct (in modern English). There are those little things that I'm not even aware of, and by becoming aware of them I can become better. It's the little details that build the wholeness.

I'm also trying to widen my vocabulary: it's fun when I get to use new words. And I feel good when I know things. It just makes me feel good. Knowledge is power. 
I've also learned more about my own threshold to speak: It's easier to speak with a person who is truly interested in me, rather than speaking with people who wouldn't give a crap about me or what I'm saying. So... with some people my threshold is lower, and with some people it's as high as it can get. Of course when I 'must' talk, I will talk, even with those who would throw me off of hot-air balloon to save themselves....

But again, I must mention that these all are just merely my own thoughts and feelings. You may disagree with me, please, feel free to do so. This is just my perspective, my reality, and yours will most likely differ from mine. Perhaps you see me just as a silent school boy, or perhaps you see me just as a complainer. But hey... Nobody really is what they seem to be. Better remember that. 
 

And now, again, I must end this text, as much as I enjoyed of writing this. But another time then? Time will most certainly show us. Here are my last words regarding this text: 
Now that you know few or more things about me, I won't feel need to explain myself anymore. Instead, I will focus heavily on the topic: Analyzing my learning, and so on. 

Farewell for now. We shall meet again, one day!

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#4

Has it only been just 4 weeks since the summer holiday came to it's end? It sure does feel like eternity. I wonder... But in the end, does it really matter? I don't know. Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't. A fifty-fifty chance?

At one night when already in bed I realized what I'm more afraid of than anything. Growing old. People will most likely find a partner to spend their lives with, found a family, have kids. And we would all grow old, either with or without anyone. We will all grow old. And we will all die, at some point. But I don't think that it's the dying part that is scary... is it? It's sad to think that everything one loves, everything that one has ever loved, will wither away and die. It's inevitable. It's the truth. A story that every and each one of us has to live through. Some of us survive, rest of us don't. We keep living. Or that is what we try to make ourselves believe. If just to retain our sanity. Yet I must wonder, has any of us ever succeeded? We might as well all be insane. Who knows.

One Benjamin Franklin used to say, "Many people die at 25 and aren't buried until they are 75”.

I remember promising myself at some point that I would never grow old. I miss the world in which there was no death or pain, only happiness eternal, a beautiful journey neverending, an adventure. The world inside of children's minds. Yet as I have grown, I've become older, inevitably.. I'm not a child anymore. I'm not innocent. Far from it. I seek life of pleasure and happiness. There is no room in my world for pain, nor for any sources for it. That being said, I continue living my life the way I've been doing for the last seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.... enjoying the little things (good food, tea, beauty around me, and life itself). It's the little details that matter!

But now let me get to the actual topic. As much as I would love to continue writing this, I'm afraid that I must finally rush to the actual topic I've intended to write about.

So please, let me finally get started.
What I have learned is that the more I get to be myself the more outgoing I am. As you can possibly imagine, it's easier to interact and be in touch with people when they're not there to judge you and you're accepted the way you are. Don't be too blue-eyeish... not everyone is a saint.

The truth is, I've never been a popular guy, and I know that I will never be one. As much as I would like to have faith in people, I couldn't even trust my life onto their hands. All I've ever known, is surviving. That's harsh. But it's merely the truth. Besides, I like it. As much as I try not to keep repeating these things over and over again, I just can't. It's who I am. I embrace it with my whole being, as it's all I know, it's all I have ever known, it's all I will ever know. If I had never experienced any of it, I wouldn't be 'me'.
I am a person who enjoys of drama, and who just can't get enough of it. But again, this is who I am, and I like it. Besides, I don't feel ashamed of any of it, and as long as I get to write and be 'me' there is no stopping me. People can take everything away from me, but not my dignity. That is what remains.
   
I've started to speak more, and that has resulted in more fluent speaking of both English and Finnish. It depends highly on people who I am talking to how well I succeed. People who treat me in good fashion, who have always treated me well, are more likely to hear me talk. Others then... well, it's a true miracle if they hear me talk. What I've noticed is that sometimes just speaking slower can make a huge difference. Not all the words need to be rushed out of your mouth. It might even feel comfortable when speaking slower.

Regarding the debate we had on Friday... At first I really wasn't sure if I'd get a chance to say anything. Nevertheless, I ended up talking quite a lot. I'm quite a fierce person inside and I got quite a strong opinions, but I managed to get along. It was fun. I liked it.

The topic itself was quite cruel: no one can justify hurting anyone. My personal opinion is that you can't put out the fire with more fire: you cannot fight the violence with violence, nor can you achieve peace without peace. I know I might have raised strong feelings in people, the whole topic did, but that's the point. Sometimes just being in the spot light is fun.

It was hard to keep own emotions and feelings in leash when trying to ponder good enough arguments, and while following the debate between group 1 and group 3. It's so easy to get lost in your emotions that one might as well forget what the goal is. The lesson is: Don't let emotions cloud your judgement. Later on Monday when we had the "debate" (it wasn't really a debate... not to me) it wasn't that fun. Why? In "my group" there were about 10 people or more and I didn't really get a chance to say anything... I guess that from now on I either am on spotlight or am not, either all in or all out. But as I've said hundreds of times earlier, it's people who cause a certain response in me. They want to listen to what I've got to say and they're honestly interested in being in any kind of interaction with me without trying to deceive, exploit or abuse me? Alrighty, that could work out. As I've also said hundreds of times earlier: If I don't exist for you, you don't exist for me, and you treat me like a little crap in the corner? Alright, I'm not the only little crap in the corner, there's another in the another corner... Heeheehee, now that was too harsh. But you get the point! What I'm trying to say that I don't care if you don't like me. It's their loss, not mine. I got just less to stress about. I've made some bad choices regarding people in past, and I just will make sure that none of that gets repeated ever again, as long as I have a say in it. What really matters is if you like me. It's a causal nexus. But I won't stress about that much either. Really, I try not to stress about anything, one thing that the society and people have taught me. Stressing about people or relationships won't help a bit and it won't make people like you more. As said, I couldn't care less

And now, before I start twisting everything I've written more and more... I guess this was it then. Again. The ending of this text. But it is said, that what has a beginning, has an end. In the same fashion, everything that goes up must eventually come down, except me. I'm high as hell already...

Syonara. But since we will most likely see again, or encounter each other again in one form or another... let me just say 'Farewell', for now. 
 

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#5

It's been over ten years since I started the school, and now I'm in high school already, about to finish it. Who would have thought? Over then years. A lot has happened. A lot fits into these past years, both good and bad. How different things used to be. I think it's weird that nothing seems to be different but when I think about the past, everything has changed. No one is the same, neither am I. Feeling nostalgic, eh? A little bit, yes, as I'm still merely a human. Sometimes I might feel something when I run into people who played a more important part in my life (or better said, who I thought were important to me). But most of the time I'm glad if I can look at them without feeling anything. No sadness, no hatred, nothing. Not even happiness. And after all, there is no evidence that those little encounters ever happened, like coming across each other in the corridors. Just a switft exchange of gazes, then quickly turning it away, continuing the every day life like nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Perhaps it was better that way. Absolutely nothing had happened. Except the whole world had changed. But that's just it, nothing more. All there is left are those faint traces of memories left.

But none of that matters. It must not. In the end, everything was supposed to go the way it did. No regrets, just living a day by day, for the future.

I think I'm in need of vacation. A long one. One the beach of Hawaii. Brewing and drink perfect cups of tea, something of new sort. Bathing in sun, just enjoying the life. I wonder if I'd ever come back... I highly doubt that.

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It was fun today on Wednesday 11^th September... Got to laugh a little bit the we were stressing the sentences in a certain fashion (e.g. In enthuasistic way, irritated way, etc.) and later when we played 'Mobster'. It was actually fun even though most of us are adults already. Although I must wonder... is it true that men never grow up? Haha, now that's a fun thought.

There are days when I don't feel like talking, sometimes I feel that the words get stuck in my throat, no matter if I'm speaking English or Finnish. It's annoying. Although the more I talk the more words I get out of my mouth smoothly. Still, it's not like I've been silent for eternity... I don't know why this keeps happening. I should probably start speaking slower... but then people would always rush me to speak faster and they'd grow bored of me and would start speaking over me. But then, I should probably think twice before speaking in such company.... Just sayin', I've become sick of repeating myself all over again like nothing I had said had no purpose at all. But again, just sayin'.

I can't recall the day when we had the listening exam... Was it on Tuesday? Now that I think of it, I think it was. It didn't go as well as the ones we had practiced. It was a little bit harder, yes, but I was also daydreaming way too much... It could've gone better, it could've gone worse. I think that I won't be getting Laudatur after all. Too bad, that would've been nice.

I'm kind of looking forward to that oral exam... at least I think so. Not that I would actually stress about it at all as I'm not. As I've said thousands of times already, I don't like stressing about things. It either goes well or not that well. I'm not very good in ”test situations”... they're way too inflexible and rigid for my taste... So, that will affect the outcome. But other than that, I'm quite confident about that and about my abilities. After all, it's just another test amongst others. So, nothing to stress about. 

Unbelievable... The course has come to it's end. Who would have thought that the time would go on? It feels like yesterday when the course started... yet it's been almost an eternity. It's been different than the other courses, and has allowed more flexibility than the other courses. But it's said that everything good will come to it's end, at some point or another. Everything that has a beginning has an end. An universal law. Or an universal flaw? 

And now, instead of spending my whole night writing this text, I'll finish this off. More will follow later, at some point, or another. Maybe. Now... I wonder... How will I spend my Saturday night? I think I know just the way.

Cheers. And try not to mess with anything, k'? 


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#6

”We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them... but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it... ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love... And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man... A man that made me remember the Fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.” - from a movie V for Vendetta.

Most definitely one of the most beautiful quotes I've ever seen during my life. Definitely. So many ways of interpreting the quote, so many possibilities. Such beauty. But then, again, am I the right person to talk about beauty? Am I the right person to determine what beauty is? I'm not. But I do think that beauty is something that comes from deep inside. But then, again, I could be wrong.

But anyway, who cares? I don't. I had my tender moment, let's move on already...

So, what could I say – or in this case, write about? Oh yeah, something about something. Not a big deal, eh? Lets try, even for once, to stay on the topic. It can't be that hard. Somehow I just always end up writing about everything. But hey, something to comfort me: everything's related, all matter is energy, energy forms everything. Said and done. Proved to be true.

I had one of my matriculation exam, biology, on Monday. It was kind of rough, just sitting and writing, eating and thinking. The quality of the answers went down towards the end... Took almost 5 hours to finish it off, and then my hand was ready to be cut off. But other than that, it went rather well. Now that I've been in one exam already, I know how to proceed with the next one, English one.

I had that English oral exam today on Tuesday. I fell so hard that I went right through the bottom. I never shine in those exam situations, never have, never probably will. Yeah, it went THAT bad. There's at least one thing I remember really well from that situation: I was asked what grade I'd get for that exam. I answered, ”A seven points”! I wonder what the hell I were thinking during that exam. None of the conversations I've had, especially not those when I've talked with foreign people, have gone that bad. I'll blame the pressure. I wonder if I'll fail the course? Perhaps got to redo it? That exam really did go THAT bad. Really bad. Oh, I got to clarify a little bit more: It went straight to hell for me. Probably even through the hell, if anything exists under it. I wonder if I ended up slaying demons with that grade...? But hey, something good comes always up, so I won't stress about it, not at all. Why not? Because I know that I'm hell of a lot better. Said and done. Proved to be true.

Had that matriculation exam on English and I think it went rather well even though the most questions and answers were so freakin' unbelievable, I mean, there were a lot of answers which all fit to the question... Although I did do the whole exam in about 3 hours, then I just got bored (I wonder how Kerrigan is... she's probably busy?). It is said that everything is fun just as long as it lasts or it's new... I loved writing that essay: wrote the book review... about a book serie (just 2 books actually) which I just fell in love with. An incredible description of the dark side of humanity after a total nuclear war. A story about survival while living deep in metro tunnels, and when the human race is on the brink of its demise. You may actually even have read those books, or played the game serie...

It's hard to believe that this course has come to its end. It's been fun, and kind of ”relaxing” when compared to other courses. Make no mistake; I'm just in school because it's required of me, because of the education. It's all about education. It's always been all about education, will always be. But at least... I've learned my lessons during these last years. No experiences have gone to waste, something to be glad about. But in the end... I wonder. I always have, I always will: How differently would things have gone? What if I hadn't learned the lessons I was taught? What if the lessons had never been taught to me? What if. What if. It's futile to question the past. But I'm glad. I did learn my lessons, did I not? Indeed.

I think... I'm in need of vacation. Perhaps I shall retire already? 


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#7
This is going to be the last one, the one to end the serie of these texts. This is going to be rather short one, mostly because my computer fell apart, literally. 

So, here I am and have been, but no more. It's time to say a goodbye, when it comes to this course (not that I would actually have much of memories regarding the course or last weeks....). But I think it was fun, if I can recall any of it. Although, I don't think that anything good comes out of thinking about the past, or even yesterday. I like forgetting about everything, best way for me to live my life: a day by day, only in this very moment, for future. I'm not bound by my past nor chained to the past. I live for myself, not for anyone else, but just and only for myself. But enough of this talk about myself, let me have a speech regarding this course:

"It's been such a long journey... over six weeks or something? Not that the time would actually matter, as it doesn't. But as I said, it's been a long journey, and it has come to an end. Often ends are described as the end of everything, annihilation, but since the universe keeps rolling, and we (most likely too) after the course has ended, it's nothing more than an ending among other endings. Nevertheless, it's been quite fun, not as fun as it could've been but I think none of us would like being in prison...? Yeah, that's what I thought... So... this was it then."

 Liked the speech? You better like it or it was all in vain. You liked it? Good. 
Now, don't expect me to write this all night long, got more important things to do in.... after all, it's a weekend, no exams to be expected... a beginning of new period... Besides, didn't I say that I'd keep this story short? Got it.

And now I think it would be time to say, Sayonara. Since we won't be seeing each other on this course anymore. Or something like that, not that I'd care if I see you or not... People are nothing more than barriers in the way waiting to be pushed off from the road, while I get to watch how they step on shit. Haha, now that was hilarious, absolutely hilarious. Made me laugh hard. But yeah, end of discussion, end of these texts. 

The end has finally come. Embrace it. 

Cheers.